Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring…
“You have reached the White House Automotive Warranty Department. Push 1 for Spanish or 2 for English. Para continuar en Español…”
Beep
“Did you know that the White House Automotive Warranty Department has a website where you can get the latest information on vehicle recalls, reset your mileage tracking device, schedule service, pay your tax bill, or report a malfunction. All appropriate forms are available in a convenient, downloadable format. A new Forum has been recently added to allow you to communicate with other happy customers. Please go to w-w-w, dot, w-h, underscore, warranty, underscore, d-e-p-t, dot gov, forward slash, t-6-3-6, number sign, percent sign, 5-8-z-q-l-r, open parentheses, forward slash.”
“Please listen carefully as our options have changed. If you are having a drive-train problem, press 1. If you are having an engine problem, press 2. If your vehicle has broken down, run out of fuel, or has an under-inflated tire, press 3. If you are having electrical issues, except Radio and Navigation system problems, press 4. If you need to reset your mileage tracking device, press 5. For information on vehicle recalls, press 6. For vehicle warranty information, press 7. To calculate your vehicle taxes, press 8. To schedule service, press 9. To speak with a customer service representative, press 0. To go back-”
Beep
“In order to assist you further, please enter your ten digit phone number, starting with the area code.”
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-B
“We’re sorry, that number is not recognized. Please enter your ten digit phone number, starting with the area code.”
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
“Please enter your sixteen digit account code, followed by the pound sign.”
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
“Please enter your four digit pin code.”
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
“Please enter the last four digits of your Social Security Number.”
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
“Please enter your billing zip code.”
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
“We’re sorry, all of our operators are busy assisting other happy customers.”
“Did you know that the White House Automotive Warranty Department has a website where you can get the latest information on vehicle recalls, reset your mileage tracking device, schedule service, pay your tax bill, or report a malfunction. All appropriate forms are available in a convenient, downloadable format. A new Forum has been recently added to allow you to communicate with other happy customers. Please go to w-w-w, dot, w-h, underscore, warranty, underscore, d-e-p-t, dot gov, forward slash, t-6-3-6, number sign, percent sign, 5-8-z-q-l-r, open parentheses, forward slash.”
“Approximate wait time is under three minutes. Please do not hang up, as calls are answered in the order they are received.”
“Did you know that the White House Automotive Warranty Department has a website where you can get the latest information on vehicle recalls, reset your mileage tracking device, schedule service, pay your tax bill, or report a malfunction. All appropriate forms are available in a convenient, downloadable format. A new Forum has been recently added to allow you to communicate with other happy customers. Please go to w-w-w, dot, w-h underscore, warranty, underscore, d-e-p-t, dot gov, forward slash, t-6-3-6, number sign, percent sign, 5-8-z-q-l-r, open parentheses, forward slash.”
“White House Automotive Warranty Department – hold please…”
(elapsed time, 4:32 seconds)
“White House Automotive Warranty Department, how can I help you?”
Uh, yes, I need to sched-
“Please hold…”
“Did you know that the White House Automotive Warranty Department has a website where you can get the latest information on vehicle recalls, reset your mileage tracking device, schedule service, pay your tax bill, or report a malfunction. All appropriate forms are available in a convenient, downloadable format. A new Forum has been recently added to allow you to communicate with other happy customers. Please go to w-w-w, dot, w-h, underscore, warranty, underscore, d-e-p-t, dot gov, forward slash, t-6-3-6, number sign, percent sign, 5-8-z-q-l-r, open parentheses, forward slash.”
“Ok, sorry, what did you need?”
Yes, I need to schedule an oil change and have my tires rotated.
“Ok, yes, we can take care of that. Did you know we have a website?
Ummm, yes, the message on hold was quite clear about that
“Good. I’m required by law to let everyone know. Alright, I just need to get your phone number please, starting with the area code.”
Well, I entered in at the beginning of the call
“Well, sir, it is not showing up here in my screen. So, can I get your phone number, starting with the area code please?”
2-1-2-8-6-7-5-3-0-9
“Alright, your information is coming up now. What did you need again?”
“I need to schedule an oil change and have my tires rotated.”
“Fine, we can do that, but next time, you should use the website.”
Well, I thought I would just call since I’m sitting in traffic right now.
“Oh, I see. If your stuck in traffic, have you turned the engine off?”
No, er, I’m not stuck, traffic is just moving really slowly
“Have you used the GPS to find an alternate route? You will be penalized for under utilizing gasoline.”
Yes, but there are no exits where I am right now.
“Ok, well I just wanted to make sure you know about the new law…”
No, I know, uhh, thank you.
“And do you have your windows open and air conditioning off? The newest Clean Air Act now requires all vehicles traveling under ten miles per hour to have their windows open and AC off.”
But, its, ahh, raining.
“Well, if it’s raining, I’ll let it slide this time, just don’t let it happen again.”
Yes sir.
“Alright, What day did you want to have this done?”
Tuesday afternoon if that’s possible
“Next week?”
Yes, next week, is there a problem with that day?
“Yes sir, there are no openings then. How about Thursday, the next week. Will two be alright”
Yeah, that will be fine
“Ok, just hang on a second while I get you your confirmation number. You’ll need this number when you go to the dealership, so don’t lose it. You’ll also need to fill out a ET-319 form, which you can download from our website. Do you have something to write with?”
Sure, go ahead
“The number is 8-…click-”
“We’re sorry, all circuits are busy, please try your call again later”
reddotinaredstate
lyndseyfifield
Crush
LoveBeingRight
realblackwidow
[...] …and wait for the beep. Posted in: Uncategorized Send to a Friend Printer Friendly comments (0) trackbacks (0) [...]
Makes me glad my father taught me how to be a “do-it-yourselfer” well… until that becomes illegal.
The limo liberals won’t have these petty problems.
No, I’m sure campaign contributors will have an Easter Egg on PBO’s website that gets them around all of the riggermaroll.
I wish I could say that was funny…but it’s too scary
Well, as I say, “It’s either laugh, or climb a tall tower with a high-powered rifle to thin out the herd!”
You left out the accent. You know those phone answering jobs are going to Asia, right?
I’m sure he’ll put in a “Buy American” clause, so it will be someone from the inner city who speaks with cotton balls in their mouth, or an illegal alien whose previous computer experience was picking pieces out of a trash dump in Juarez. It would have been funnier, but much harder to type.
‘Needs run through the Jivenator.
Now, now, we don’t want to invite the…how does Michelle put it?…RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIST moniker, do we?
[...] Laugh or Cry? 2009 March 31 by Perfidious Tough call. [...]
The website says DNS service denied?
What, this site? Probably a flood of Malkin viewers. Traffic is a bit higher than normal.
I came here via a link from Boortz.com.
This can make one either laugh or cry. (Does that mean I should log onto the government depression site?)
re: reddotinaredstate – Well, as I say, “It’s either laugh, or climb a tall tower with a high-powered rifle to thin out the herd!”
You’ll have to go to Mexico and get that high-powered rifle and bullets to match, after all Hillary says we’re the reason they have those guns right? And, if PresBO has his way, the only thing we’ll ever be able to shoot is the breeze…a government approved breeze.
[...] Call to the White House Auto Warranty Department Jump to Comments Could sound like this, since the President has assured the American public that the government will back up any [...]
sure glad I bought a Honda. The above can’t be a real conversation though because there is no way the caller could get an appointment within a week let alone a year from the time of the call. Now think health care.
Hmmm, maybe by combining these two Government depts. we could save money. Call and get a repair job for your car and body at the same time! Parts department would have to be a bit different but I’m sure they could combine some of the items to work in both bodies and cars and surely the physicians could learn to work on both!
Thanks for the comment. I have a BMW, they only need oil changes every 15K miles. I thought setting the appointment a week and a half out would be funny, without being ridiculous, since most people can get their oil changed on their lunch break.
As far as combining health care and auto care, why not? It would be really convenient to schedule my prostrate exam along with a fan-belt change. Much of the paperwork can be combined as well. Along with that huge checklist doctors give you for all of your ailments, you could have one for your car right along side: engine knocks, check; burns oil, check; glove box won’t open, check. An the best part is – they both can be union jobs!
Or you could get a further discount by getting that prostate exam while leaned over under the hood changing the fan belt yourself.
[...] Ah, the coming joy of government run auto warranties Funny but, sadly, probably accurate too! [...]